Simply Shenanigans
by neonkoi
Summary: In which two very opposite sides of the law team up to avoid certain things- and the people that cause them. No pairings implied. Written for Poirot Cafe's Themed Writing Contest #16: Survival.


**_I had too much fun with this XD_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan nor Magic Kaito(u)_**

 ** _Written for Poirot Cafe #16 themed contest: survival_**

 ** _Word count: 2993_**

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Sluggish comprehension. A drugged mind and hazy eyes; blurred and burning. These were the first things that jumped at him as he woke, accompanied by an excruciatingly unnecessary noise to one with a headache such as his. The annoying taps came in certain beats. In two's, then there would be a pause before seven more beats could be heard.

 _tap-tap tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap_

It repeated and Conan brought his small hand up to his face, attempting to rub at his eyes but not quite feeling where his hand was going. He was numb, and the taping started again on now what he could clearly tell was a metal of sorts. His head throbbed in pain and he found himself groaning in displeasure.

The tapping stopped. The small detective let out a relieved breath. It was so _annoy-_

"Tantei-kun?" A silky voice asked, concern masked to the hearing of everyone but the small boy himself.

The shrunken teen groaned again. Whether in pain or annoyance, neither would know. What was KID doing here? He shot up alarmed, ignoring the pain and dizziness he felt as he did so. Where was _here!?_ Gentle hands pushed him back down into the lying position he was previously in and his eyes shut tight before he squinted them back open.

He needed to be calm. He needed to not to see but to observe, just as he taught himself to do. Things began to calculate in his head at an undeniably fast rate despite the hazy feeling he had.

It was bright, he noted, and the ceiling looked like platinum. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Dust. It smelled like dust. Not overbearing but he could feel a thin layer of it as his fingers cautiously swept over the floor. The floor was cold and all it was overall silent. Even KID was careful with his breathing, knowing the mini detective needed some time to grip his surroundings.

Closing his eyes, he paid attention to his heart rate, thankful to find it wasn't elevated and that whatever he was drugged with hadn't responded badly with the aptx4869 inside of him. Paralysis, nausea, and dizziness- He hummed tunelessly.

"Chloroform?" He asked quietly. He couldn't smell it, but the way his body felt, he thought he probably slept the effect off and ended up asleep longer than intended because he was previously exhausted before he was ever given the dosage.

"Yup~ Bingo!" KID cheered falsely. "You've been asleep for maybe a day and a half? It's kinda hard to tell in here." Conan choked on air, surprised as he turned to face the thief. A day and a half? God, how much did they get him with? Even though he was tired, it shouldn't have taken that long.

KID smiled wryly at the boy, his hat shadowing everything but his mouth. "I was kidnapped first, just to let you know. And all my secret pockets have been stripped of my very useful belongings."

"Oh, what other means of escape do we have? I hope tapping the police code for 'kidnapped' isn't all you've got." The mini-tantei joked half-heartedly and the thief put on a face of mock hurt, tilting his hat up a bit so his eyes were slightly more visible. Conan rolled his eyes and the thief began helping the not-child into a sitting position. In silence, Kaito began to look outside the bars, once more searching his surroundings. Conan did the same.

The room in which the cage resided was white. No windows could be located and the room was overall bare except for the camera in the right-hand corner, the overly ordinary wooden door and barely there infrared motion detector lights that barely left any space even for a small child like Conan to walk through.

KID was good. But not that good without his equipment.

"Well," Said thief cleared his throat, ready to inform the child on what he discovered. "The room we're currently residing in is about 20x27ft. Our cage, as you can see is not small but doesn't take up much space either and has a rather normal lock. It's approximately 9x13ft making longer than it is wide. In height, it's about-"

"KID, there are more important things than the cage at the moment." Conan snapped, eyeing the camera suspiciously as he searched for any listening devices. KID glanced at the camera and scoffed, dismissing it with a wave of his gloved hand.

"It's a fake, and I've already checked for bugs. The only thing we need to do to get out of this room is to say sayonara to this cage we're in and to get past those sensors. Which shouldn't be too hard for you and your stature.."

"Are you making fun of my height?"

"Not at all, Tantei-kun! It would be highly inappropriate to laugh in such a situation no matter how unfortunate your growth is."

"I can't believe you," Conan grumbled. So what if he was rather short for a seven-year-old? He turned out just fine in the future if he did so say himself. "Anyways, I'm getting your point. I can most likely make it through the sensors, but first I need to make it through the cage door. I'm guessing you have some sort of idea for that since you're grinning?"

"Oh," KID smirked. "I don't really have a plan, but they didn't find some things so I might be able to do something about our cage." His sudden smirk caused Conan to shudder before the young boy focused on the thief's persona.

They had surprisingly let him keep his hat and monocle, however, KID's white jacket that usually went with his blue shirt was nowhere to be found, leaving him in only white pants, shoes, gloves and a sky blue button-up. A raised eyebrow in his general direction had Kaito grinning wider.

Where was the thief hiding _more_ things?

KID practically glowed as he saw the question going through the mini tantei's head. "You know, I only said secret _pockets_ , I never said anything about unde-"

Conan brought both hands up to his ears and attempted to block out all sounds.

"I - don't - want - to - know - any - more!" The boy spat out, his head slamming into the bars with each word, pausing to take a breath after he was done. KID burst out laughing, clutching his stomach in pain as he laughed harder.

Catching his breath again, KID straightened himself out.

"Kidding~" The magician teased with a noticeable wink before he started to rip up his hat with a regretful expression. Conan stared in awe at the untamable locks on the thief's head, very aware of how much of his face he could now see and he tried not to pay attention, seeing as he wanted to catch KID on fair ground.

KID sighed gently as the white fabric of his hat turned to shreds and multiple long metal lock picks fell onto the cages cold floor. It was such a shame he had to lose the hat even though he had a spare in his lair, but he supposed, desperate times call for desperate measures. He was only glad he didn't have his doves on him when he was scouting out his next target before getting grabbed. Who knows what the kidnappers would do to his precious birds if they had found them.

Hearing the small click of a lock, Kaito broke out of his thoughts, turning to face the noise and gasped at what he saw. "Oh my! I'm a wonderful influence! My dear little Tantei-kun is turning into a mini-me!" The usual suave voice of KID seemed to go higher a pitch in both surprise and twisted accomplishment. "Who knew this law abiding detective could pick locks~!" Conan groaned, taking his glasses off and rubbing his hand sloppily over his face in exasperation.

"Trust me, being a detective is all the more reason to know how to pick locks," he mumbled. "You didn't teach me. I taught myself a while ago." And when he meant a while ago, he meant six-year-old Shinichi that one-time got kidnapped by an over enthusiastic fan of his mother.. or was it his father? He couldn't remember and it was a rather insignificant detail nonetheless.

Long story short, the bobby pins his mother forced in his hair were useful for some things... And boy did that little skill help him with all the other kidnapping cases he's run into.

Ignoring the over excited and chatting thief, Conan pulled the cage door towards him, thankful because it didn't push out and hit the sensors before even giving them a chance to run. The thief quieted down as soon as Conan took a cautious step out, thankful for a relieving comment the thief gave him soon after. "No weighted plates on the floor. Already checked before you got here."

A relieved breath from Conan and a calculated glance at the room from the thief.

 _One less thing to worry about,_ Conan's mind hummed. _And so many more things to consider_.

The probability of being kidnapped without him leaving a trail behind like he usually did was unfortunately very high and lay heavy on the boy's mind. The exhausted state he was in when kidnapped didn't leave him time to think nor know he was being taken away. Not to mention KID was also kidnapped and he was positively curious at how they got their hands on the thief while he barely could ever stop him from jumping off of roofs in time to get back precious and priceless gems.

These people were skilled. And they were stupid.

The cage was easy to pick. They left KID with- well, _most_ of his suit and some of his equipment. They also should have known that they couldn't have fooled an internationally wanted thief with fake camera's. Plus the infrared detector seemed to just be the right height for his small body to manoeuvre around.

He tsked lightly in suspicion. The word he was looking for he supposed is, "Careless." KID tilted his head curiously, and Conan tried once more to avoid his face as he started to go through the laser motion sensors.

"What was that?" KID asked with a smirk because, despite the situation and lack of hat that poker face was ever present.

"Don't you think it's suspicious?" Conan asked, piercing blue eyes narrowed seriously as his small frame slipped in between red lights. "This is all too easy. And they got _you_. How did they do that?! And who are _they_ anyways? What can they possibly accomplish by kidnapping a grade-schooler who's only real media appearance is the Sleeping Kogoro's apprentice and KID killer. Why need an Internationally wanted criminal as well? Despite that making more sense if they need your expertise of sorts-"

"I don't know," Kaito interrupted, shrugging his shoulders as a frown made its way onto his face. "The only reason I didn't break out sooner was because I've been trying to figure out who did this and because I knew someone else was coming. I just didn't know who and it turned out to be you anyways."

"Although, I turned out to be a lost cause for about a day and a half," The young sleuth muttered with self-guilt, bending cautiously as he arched his back and his hand touched the floor in order to move between two very close lines. KID looked mildly impressed at his display of acrobatics.

"You needed the rest and I was still trying to grasp who did this by their occasional visits where they brought food and allowed me to-"

"Wait." Conan glared, still in his extremely awkward position. "They came in here? Why didn't you already tell me this?"

"Because our main focus at the moment is escaping, Tantei-kun."

"But-"

"I just thought it would be easier to figure it out if we _weren't_ in a cage on lockdown."

Conan sighed, inwardly knowing KID was right as he went back to moving, narrowly missing many of the red lines that could give them away. The path to the door was rather short if walking, but it felt like it took forever when avoiding traps.

Nevertheless, he did make it, but he wasn't exactly sure how he'd turn off the detectors.. there wasn't a panel or control box that usually came with these types of models in sight. That meant the next most probable place was right next to the door outside. He warily wrapped his too small fingers on the knob and twisted. It was locked, but what would you expect?

Cursing lightly under his breath, he turned to a highly amused thief who was smirking as he sat crisscross in the cage, dangling all his pick locks in his fingers while he made them disappear one-by-one before reappearing once more. _Stupid magicians with terrible occupations_...

"I do believe you forgot these?" He smirked mockingly, grinning slightly at the annoyed huff the smaller male gave out.

"Be careful and slide them to me. I think I have to disable this from outside of the room so I need to open the door." The young sleuth informed, examining the lock. It was a simple lock. One you would see on simple doors in houses. Nothing special at all.

The sound of something small scraping across the floor called for the detective's attention and he noticed a pick lock tool resting at his feet. KID sent over five more of various sizes, each making annoying scraping noises as they slid across the floor. Retrieving them, Conan got to work on the lock.

The click was audible in the rather silent room and KID smirked, speaking the words,"Should have been a thief~ such a waste for only a critic." Conan simply glared at the door unamused.

Rolling his eyes, he pressed his ear up to the door and listened. When he heard nothing, he opened the door quietly, peeking out before slipping outside, shutting the door closed behind him.

KID blinked owlishly, but only one indigo eye showed for his other was covered by his monocle. Had Tantei-kun abandoned him? Nah. But it sure did feel like it. Really, the kid should warn him before just leaving him there in the room.

Alone and with no one to tease.

Sighing boredly, Kaito waited as Conan looked around outside of the room.

It was a rather boring carpeted hallway with mint green walls that reminded the shrunken teen of vomit. The lighting just didn't go with it right and the white doors ( _including the one he just came out of because it seemed to be painted white on this side_ ) clashed terribly with the magenta colored carpet, mint green walls, and dull and borderline spooky lighting.

Eight doors, Conan counted.

The hallway was long but closed in. Two doors on each end and three doors on each side. The one he and KID were locked in was a middle door to the right. And as he suspected, a small black panel was beside it, just in his reach if he stood on his very tippy toes. Once again, he was reminded of how he hated his height disadvantage.

He focused on the panel, casting his complaints away.

Disabling it was easy, in only took longer than necessary because he had to take breaks randomly and give his toes some rest. The fluttering thought of how ballerinas did it momentarily appeared before he pushed it away. _Irrelevant_.

"Oi! Come on, we have to leave before someone notices we're missing."

KID got out of the cage and made his way over to the detective in graceful steps, his hat somehow on his head again despite it being previously ripped to shreds. Noticing the glances, Kaito smirked. "I got bored waiting and fixed it."

Curious about the trick but not wanting to waste time, Conan dismissed it.

The first door they opened was, of course, white ( _since they were all white_ ) but had words etched into it that Conan previously hadn't noticed.

" _Ye who enter abandon all hope_." KID read happily, carefully opening the door. Conan's eye twitched. Either because of the rather careless thief or the Night Baron posters and other whatnots littering the small room. His eyes widened before he groaned and the thief looked at him curiously after blinking a few times at the room.

"I think I know who did this," He muttered humorlessly. "I swear- Can't they get some _real_ hobbies!"

"Tantei-kun?"

"The good news is, we're not going to get killed and probably have no chance of getting killed. But we should still run." A small shudder racked his body. "We should really just esca-"

A silver tray dropped, food and other things scattering to the ground.

"Shinnnnnnnnn-chan! You're awake! Oh! Yuuuuu-chan! They got out! Shin-chan and Kai-kun got out! Chikage-chan?! Come here! Our boy's are escaping!"

Kaito's eyes widen and Conan felt his body stiffen. "Well, it was nice working with you. Quite the pleasure really but I'm afraid it's not going to happen again if we don't get out like you said. My mother's involved with this and-" His blabbering stopped as soon as Yusaku and Chikage made their appearances.

Scooping up his rival, the thief ran. Conan didn't protest and actually admired their teamwork. They were going to need a lot of it to get rid of their parents.

"I can't believe our parents know each other. Not to mention they are all on the same crazy level!"

The magician opened his mouth to protest but stopped and grimaced. Oh god. He was right.

"Not good, not good at all!"

Well, at least they were on the same team for something despite being on different sides of the law. Even if it was only for the _Anti crazy parent shenanigans_.

Go team kids!

No, but seriously, _run_. If you run, you may have a better chance at survival.

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 ** _Well, this was me just really kidding around, but I'd appreciate a review..? I hope you enjoyed reading this!_**

 ** _-Neonkoi_**


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